Like most of you I have teenage family members who appear lost when it comes to their future. I also have friends who have children, between the ages of 15 and 30 years old, who are unclear on the concept that at some point they will have to move out on their own.
Teenagers and young adults living at home must pay attention to the changes taking place and find a way to make the transition into adulthood. If not, they will find themselves in constant turmoil with their parents. This can lead to getting kicked out of the house, needless struggle and/or becoming homeless.
I went through this struggle myself when I was a teenager attending Thornton Community College and still living with my parents. I left home after having an argument with my father and stayed with a friend and then relatives for 7 months. I was able to find some stability when I was accepted into DePaul University and moved into the Clifford Hall dormitory in Lincoln Park.
That was a difficult time for me and in retrospect for my parents. I was not sure about my future and my parents were worried about me. So when I see family members and friends fighting with their children, whether teenagers or young adults, it brings back some unpleasant memories.
We all know where this story is going, at some point these young people will have to leave their parent’s home and move out on their own. At some point they will have to learn how to become self-sufficient. That does not mean that they navigate the world by themselves. It does mean that they acquires marketable skills and develop the determination to become independent. With this independence, they can support themselves. Plus their family, friends and community can rely upon them to contribute to the greater whole when required.
I have been asking myself, what could help parents and their children in this process of preparing to leave home. What type of books, tools and programs are available to make this task easier or more organized? I would like to see more resources that parents and their children can use as part of ongoing discussions to prepare for adulthood.
Some parents are more experienced and better prepared than others. Many parents are just busy supporting the household. I have written a book about this process of leaving home entitled, “How to Leave Your Parents’ Home and Live on Your Own: A Guide for Teenagers and Young Adults.” I sold some copies and given copies to family, friends and co-workers. A much repeated comment I hear is that, I will give a copy of the book to my kid to read. That is a great start.
I think that it would help if the parent would take the time to read the book and then discuss the contents with their teenagers. That way, it becomes a joint plan on how to help your kid become self-sufficient. Some people need more help in doing things while others are more independent. But if the parents read the book, they will understand the approach and content plus the parents can share their own experience in making this transition into adulthood.
My plan now within the immediate future is to give away the book for free because I think it has value and many will find it useful. But I think more is required to make the book a more effective guide. So I am working on a plan to create some other tools for those who want to more confidently make the transition into adulthood. Stay tune.
Monty
